Saturday, March 04, 2006 @2:51 AM
It was after months that i last read cecilia's blog. It's because i'm afraid. Afraid that it will affect me as i read on. Don't know since when i developed this fear. My self-confidence was badly crash. Friends asked me questions and i answered them wrongly for MOST of the time. I'm guilty, but i swear that i didn't do it purposely. Most of the time i really don't know. Now, most of you may think that i'm someone who don't know but act know kinda ppl. In some situation, i really thought the info i have in mind is correct, but actually its bullshit. Last sem, yingsze asked me a QAAS qns and yup, i answered wrongly. Then, cecilia was discussing the correct ans with onn ling and i heard something. I was on the verge of crying. Next lesson, i couldn't hold my tears and i cried half an hour off ms tan's lesson. That was the roughest patch of my life in sp. I picked up things slowly with shujuan's help and yingsze on my side.
I had wrote a entry about cecilia and i previously, that was an excuse. After reading cecilia's blog about she declares that she hate the current class. I begin to wonder is it because of the strain relationship we had over the few months. I didn't think things will turn out this way and i never knows until it really happened. One day that i suddenly realised that we hasn't talk for days, followed by weeks. Things really can't go back ot the past. We can't treat it as nothing as happened unless we are both willing to chat things over it. i'm vulnerable, vulnerable towards friendship. I can't take blows, or you can say i'm timid. I don't dare to look up to her and ask her why? I didn't know the reason, but guess i'm the black-sheep in her life.
I'm sorry ...
From once best friend to stranger. Life is indeed fragile without care and concern.
To stop my tears from flowing, i have to be a better person.
Ohgod,
there I go again.
