Thursday, October 27, 2005 @12:30 AM
This is me, the one who struggled to make a decision to join the poly band and the one now who struggled trying to make a decision whether to quit band. It was yesterday’s practise which led me thinking whether to quit. Band tuning at 7pm, my sound was terrible. I was hoping to tell everyone that I had used a new mouth piece that I’m not used to it. But I knew, this was just one of my excuses. I knew that I had used my throat and lips control rather than diaphragm, but I had never heard myself playing such a terrible sound. I became paranoid and starting to feel eyes of strangers on me. I said strangers as I’m considered new there. Missed their orientation, events. I had no chance to get to know more friends.
I’m here again trying to figure out what can I do. A day before sectional. To go or not? If I go, I will be in. If not I will be out of the band. Sometimes I wondered why I make life difficult for myself. Jumped inside this situation and now trying to get out of it.
Ohgod,
there I go again.
