Saturday, May 07, 2005 @12:25 AM
*breath in .. . as i'm walking home from the bus stop ..
hmm .. the air smells nice today .. i reached home about 11.50pm after work .. [ i worked 7 - 11pm shift ]. today .. a customer left her laptop in the cafe .. it cost $3000 .. i saw it on the sofa .. i thought it belongs to my boss .. so i didn't bother to ask about it .. arGH .. so sorry to the lady .. $3000 taptop with all the doc. inside ...
i have some heart-wrenching stories to share with you .. it was sent by shirley .. about the story of leaf, tree and wind .. but i'll post them one by one ..
Leave
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage.
During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BF-GF relationship kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit.
They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal. I like him & I know he likes me...
But why won't he tell me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a normal friend...
Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right? Maybe I'm just stupid to wait. Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him...
Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up.
Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompanies me for 3 years. Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree.
In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay?
